How much porn do you have?
Do you download your porn and keep it on your computer or a hard drive? Do you just stream it online? Do you pay for it or watch it free?
The reason I ask is that last week my main 4TB NAS hard drive bricked on me. It was doing a firmware update, got disrupted during the process, and never came back… (NAS is network attached storage – it’s a hard drive that connects directly to your broadband router so you can store your data in one place but reach it on all your devices and even remotely via the web)
Now of that 4TB a whopping 2.1TB of space was taken up by my porn. That’s a LOT of porn! I’m one of those collector/hoarder types who saves everything (photos, music, old software updates, videos etc) so over fifteen years I’ve accumulated quite the collection. There’s also a lot of home video in there (I’ve always liked filming sex even before I did it professionally!)
Some of it was duplicated and scattered across a few other smaller hard drives but only the older stuff – I know, I know, it’s important to have regular backups but I didn’t have any spare drives and I fell out of the habit of doing it… Suffice it to say that there was no back up of anything from the last two years.
You can imagine my reaction when the NAS failed during its update and I could no longer even see it on any network or device as if it didn’t exist…
Luckily, I’m about mid-level techy and I was fairly confident all my stuff was still on the disk, just that the corrupted firmware update meant the drive wouldn’t boot up to let me get at any of it. So I’ve spent the last few days painstakingly trying to recover all my data… I’m a Mac user but a bit of research on some forums suggested that Windows/Linux was the way to go… so I tried a Virtual Windows machine on my Mac but that didn’t work… I dragged out my old PC which has sat gathering dust behind the television for years, fired it up, created a bootable USB drive with a Linux OS on it… went on Amazon and bought a USB/SATA adaptor, cracked the hard drive out of its casing, and finally managed to catch sight of all my files – still there and unharmed.
Now it’s the long slow and arduous process of copying everything on to an intermediate hard drive, and then from there copying over to a new NAS drive (being unable to connect the old and new NAS drives together which would be far too simple). I reckon it’s going to take me about four days to lifeboat everything off the failed drive and on to the new one. Then hopefully I can wipe and format the failed drive and reinstall its software and use it as a backup for the new one…
People used to say that the one possession they’d rescue if their house was burning down was the family photo album… I have to be honest now it would be the hard drive I keep my digital life on… I could replace clothes, gadgets, furniture… even all my fetish gear and the sling (which gives me a funny mental picture of me stood in my pyjamas on the street outside the blazing flat with the cat under one arm and a sports bag overflowing with chaps, boots and harnesses over the other, with the sling in a heap at my feet as firemen give me strange looks and keep their distance…)
But all my music lives in the iTunes cloud, my photos are all digital jpegs, my movie collection has gone from hundreds of DVDs and BluRays taking up an entire bookshelf to a digital folder of mp4, mov, wmv and avi files… and the porn doesn’t live under my mattress like it did when I was fifteen, it proudly claims a majority share of my digital possessions and says as much about me as my music does or my taste in cinema.
(By the way, you should see how organised my porn is. All put in folders according to Studio and labelled properly – or occasionally lumped in to a folder with descriptive names such as ‘Generic Bareback’ or ‘Decent But Safe’.
Now I know guys who don’t actually have any porn but simply watch it online whenever they’re in the mood for it but I like knowing what I have at my fingertips depending what kind of scene I want to see. Sometimes I feel like a wine expert helping people choose what Cabernet to have with their dinner when friends come over and I put porn on… “What kind of porn do you like? What sort of guys? Mmm hmm, ok, yeah… I have a couple of very hot late 90’s leather films with guys in their mid-late thirties without a terrible soundtrack… Oh you’d like one with less tattoos, well let me see, I could recommend this classic from 1997 if you don’t mind the terrible dialogue…?”
Just don’t ask to borrow any just yet… It’s still being coaxed out of digital limbo and might take a while!