The Bigger The Better

I’ve been chatting to this guy on and off for months – he’s hot, and he’s often hooking up with guys in the local area and then messaging to see whether I’m free, but we’ve always had a case of bad timing. Either I’ve had to work or it was the end of my weekend at the start of his, that kind of thing. Anyway, he text me at 5:30 this morning and asked “Know any huge guys”?

Now anyone who knows me, knows the answer to that question. My reply was suitably sarcastic – I pulled out my favourite mashed rhetorical retort… “Do Catholic bears shit on small children?” (It’s a mashup of ‘Do bears shit in the woods’ and ‘Do Catholic priests touch small children’) I love the imagery it brings to mind 🙂
For a long time I denied the truth about who I am, suffering the shame that seems to come with such blatant unapologetic discrimination as I am guilty of.

IMG_6748But then I was with my boyfriend – who later appeared in Treasure Island as Rob Tyler – for three years. And there were three of us in that relationship. (This is my Princess Diana moment). There was me, Rob, and his 9×7″ cock. Words do not do it justice. Pictures sometimes come close. That thing was HUGE. Not necessarily the longest, but by far the thickest. The biggest dick on a white guy I had ever seen – and so had most of the population of South London when they were up close to it. It was always rock solid as well.

I used to call him The Punctuator. Because he’d leave you with a semi-colon.

(Laughs at own joke) I still think that’s the funniest thing I’ll ever come up with.

Anyway – three years with the biggest dick I’d ever seen and I found the courage and confidence to be true to myself and not hide it – I am a total size queen.

There seems to be a negative connotation to the term… as if the size queen in question is just a shallow, selfish bimbo who dismisses men based on what genetics stuck between their legs, never taking the time to get to know a person for their other assets – their charm, sense of humour, unusually long tongue…

Well I beg to differ. You can like a massive cock and still have integrity. Just as you can choose to ignore that the man attached to that ginormous schlong is a total prat so long as it’s buried in your ass all night long. After all, none of us are in a position to judge – we all like one thing or another. Muscles and a six pack are just as shallow as setting your online search to ‘XL and above’.

For the record, I’ve had some very good sex with guys who weren’t jaw-droppingly endowed. But in the world of Grindr, Scruff, BBRT, and all the rest, it’s the selling point that hooks you in.

So to the guy who asked me if I knew any huge guys… Let me get my little black book. Although it’s more like the Yellow Pages.


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