Mein Wunderbarer Waschsalon

And so I left the States, on a midnight plane to Copenhagen. I thought I’d sleep for most of the flight but as it turned out I was wide awake for nearly all of it. I’d synced a load of films to my iPad to watch if and when I had some downtime whilst away from home and so I ended up watching a horror film called The Babadook, in the middle of the night, on a plane full of sleeping people in the dark. It’s a really good scary film and so it was probably not the best choice whilst I was trying to avoid waking people up by jumping in my seat and yelping at the frightening bits. 

We landed in Copenhagen at 8am New York time, and then I had a couple of hours to wander around the airport until my connecting flight to Berlin. I have a friend staying in my flat in London looking after the place and feeding my cat, and his initials are the same as the Copenhagen airport code – CPH – so I was hunting everywhere for any gifts with “I ❤️ CPH” on them. 

By the time my plane landed in Berlin, I’d been awake for thirty hours. I had arranged an apartment through AirBnB and once I’d checked in, I took a quick walk to the supermarket to get some essentials like milk, coffee and bread before I turned in for the night. And it had been a big day for me. I’d woken up in New York, done a porn shoot in the West Village, been caught in a thunderstorm, got scared over the Atlantic, gone shopping in Denmark, then climbed in to bed in Berlin. 

When Thursday morning rolled around I was ready for a nice quiet day, so I caught up with some of the things I needed to turn my attention to, such as expanding my blog here (I’m experimenting with the theme/look of it so you might notice a change or two) and editing some of the video work I did with Nick Roberts for his HIV project. 

I absolutely love to cook, and being away from home for three weeks (so far) has meant I’ve not really had much chance to get in to the kitchen and create, so after another quick trip to the market to get some fresh veg, I was excited to get back in to the kitchen and actually make something for dinner rather than eating out. When I eventually retire from porn and get a cookery show (called – obviously – Cooking Up A Stormme!), I’m going to host it topless like I am here in this pic. (I’m wearing jeans but you can’t see them.) 

 Nude cookery doesn’t work. There are three rules of nude cookery, the last of which is too serious to warrant the risk.

  1. Always wash your hands before touching food. 
  2. Wear an apron when near a hot pan. 
  3. Always wash your hands before touching yourself. 

I learnt number three the hard way years and years ago, after making a salad on a particularly hot summer’s day (hence being nude) and throwing some chopped chilli pepper in then five minutes later scratching my balls. Yeah… Ouch!
Friday – I needed to find a washing machine so I could throw some clothes in, otherwise I’d be wearing my rubber shorts for the next two weeks (not a bad idea, although my parents might wonder what’s going on when I get to their place in Spain wearing Wipe’N’Go). It’s the boring unglamorous side of lengthy travelling. I have had more than one hook-up ask me if I needed to do a load (well, I’m assuming they meant a load of laundry, since I’d already dropped the other kind by the time they asked!) 

I’m staying near Nollendorfplatz here in Berlin and I know the area well, so it was a quick walk down the road to Martin-Luther Straße and the public washing machines. I tweeted this photo with the phrase ‘My Beautiful Laundrette‘.  

Sadly I realise that whilst a lot of my readers will understand the movie reference, there is probably a generation of 18-30 year olds who won’t have a clue. Well guys, it’s a film, and I suggest you watch it. It’s part of your gay history – if we had an exam before you got your Platinum Gay Card it’d be in the Media category under ‘Seminal’ (no that’s not a fancy-schmany term for ‘cum-shot’). Set in 80’s London at the height of Thatcherism, it’s about a Pakistani man, a white Fascist man, a laundrette, and their boundary-breaking romance. Back in the mid-80s when it was released, it was one of the first films to tackle the issues of homosexuality and racism on such a scale and helped pave the way for the acceptance of different relationships. 

I got chatted up by a cute Spanish guy (not Pakistani like in the film) whilst I was waiting for my clothes to dry who asked me how the machines worked but as I’d already had sex four times in the past 48 hours and I was trying to pace myself ahead of the weekend, I showed him where to stick his Euros and nothing else. Maybe it’s the jet-lag! 

I’m here until Tuesday but my internet access is terrible – even 3G on my phone seems slow – which is why I’ve not posted for a couple days. I’ll be back with an update after the weekend though before I head to Barcelona to continue my European voyages. 

Bis dahin haben Sie ein gutes Wochenende! Tschüss! 😉


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